Do you have relationships that drain your energy? Do you ruminate on how someone hurt you in the past? Do you judge others and yourself in ways that obstruct your ability to remain truly calm of spirit? If so, your body is or eventually will become out of balance.
No past or perceived future hurt is worth the sacrifice of your wellness.
“I see myself in others and others in myself.” This is a principle from the ancient Mahavakyas and has complete relevance in our modern world. Next time you find yourself judging another person for hurting you in the past, ask yourself what you might have in common with this person.
Identify the trait behind the action that hurt you and see if you might see that same trait in you.
For example, in my past, I was hurt when a senior manager that I worked for threw me under the bus in front of one of our important stakeholders. If you live in the corporate world you know this behavior. Before the meeting he gave me full support to pitch an idea that we knew would be met with some resistance. He agreed to help the stakeholder see the importance of a change we were making. However, in the meeting when the idea was met with the resistance we expected, instead of helping the attendees see the benefit of the change, he agreed it was not a good idea and allowed them to limit our ability to provide a company-wide solution that would have been beneficial to the larger system. I was so surprised and hurt by his lack of support and for not being loyal to our agreement. He was not apologetic after the meeting but rather was irritated by the fact that I voiced my feelings to him about the situation. What traits did I judge in this situation? Disloyalty and not sticking to an agreement.
Have I ever displayed these traits? Yes. So how can I judge him for traits that I have myself?
This is what it means to apply the Mahavakyan principle to see ourselves in others and others in ourselves. When we approach past hurts in this way, we can let go of the hurt and forgive more easily.
Hurts you hold onto only damage you, not the other person. Judgment puts you in a stress state and triggers unnecessary cortisol release and inflammation in the body. Forgiveness is freedom for your mind and therefore freedom for your body.
The next time you find yourself judging another, identify the trait behind the behavior and look in the mirror to see how you manifest that same trait. Then let go of judgment and make space for love. Work on your own growth through forgiveness. In this way you will improve your energy and wellness.